


return policy

by hi_raeth



Series: retweet (twitter fics) [8]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Rose/Hux (mentioned), Safe to Read if You're Triggered by Pregnancy, drunk rey gets a little silly, only because she loves ben so much and wants to keep him forever, originally posted on twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26047453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hi_raeth/pseuds/hi_raeth
Summary: Prompt queen @galacticidiots tweeted:Drunk Rey would tear up hers and Ben’s marriage certificate and say “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”, and my brain immediately came up with this.OR: after another girls' night out featuring Rose drinking her divorce-related sorrows away, Rey comes up with a brilliant plan to make sure she and Ben can never get divorced.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: retweet (twitter fics) [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1639294
Comments: 86
Kudos: 494
Collections: Galactic Idiots Collection





	return policy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BensCalligraphySet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BensCalligraphySet/gifts).



For the third consecutive Friday, Rey finds herself getting sloshed at Maz's cantina with the girls as if they're in college again. She's getting a little too old to deal with the hangovers that inevitably follow these girls' nights out, but if Rose wants to drink her divorce-related sorrows away on a weekly basis then that's what they'll do.

Two drinks in, and Rose's lower lip starts trembling. Four, and she's regaling them with the tragic tale of falling out of love with Hux as tears spill down her cheeks. Six, and she's gone from sad to irritated as she rants about her misplaced marriage certificate.

"It's just a stupid piece of paper! And it doesn't even mean anything anymore. Like, why do I even need to prove we're married? Why else would I want a divorce?" she huffs, slamming her half-empty glass down on the table so forcefully that the rest of its content spill out.

"Booooo!" an equally drunk Kaydel abruptly pitches in, earning herself a blinding smile from Rose.

Designated driver Jannah is a little more level-headed, leaning toward Rose with a frown. "Wait, are you saying you lost your marriage certificate?"

Rose shrugs as she reaches for another shot. "Eh, it's gotta be somewhere. I'll find it eventually and then I'll finally be free of that awful, condescending, caring, infuriating, adorable— _fuck_ , I hate him so much!" she wails mournfully, sliding right back into sadness.

Rey watches as if from a distance as Kaydel and Jannah immediately leap into action, comforting Rose with words and hugs and more drinks. She'll join them in a bit, really she will, but something about what Rose has just said is bouncing around her head.

No marriage certificate equals... no divorce?

After an evening spent listening to Rose detailing the pains of falling out of love and dealing with the process of separation, no divorce sounds pretty great to Rey.

"Rey, a little help?" Jannah asks with a pointed look as Kaydel starts pressing big, sloppy kisses all over Rose's face to assure her she's still loved.

"Yup, okay, Rey to the rescue!" she cheers, tucking the idea away to be revisited later that night, after Jan drops her off at home.

* * *

Jannah calls out her goodnight once she's satisfied that Rey has locked the door behind her, but Rey is too distracted by the pile of junk mail sitting on the entry table to reply.

Papers, papers, something to do with papers...

"Sweetheart, is that you?" Ben asks, emerging from their little home office with a smile on his face.

She loves that smile. And him, because _oh_ , he must've stayed up to wait for her and she loves him. A lot. Which is why she needs to make sure they don't ever get a divorce. Her eyes shift from Ben to the room behind him, and it's the closest thing to a light-bulb moment she's ever had.

The office! Of course!

"Fine, fine, everything's fine," she sing-songs to Ben as she pushes past him to get into the office, taking a moment to snuggle into his chest with a happy sigh. His chest really is her favorite pillow in the world, even though it's not that soft.

But it’s perfect. _He’s_ perfect.

Rey steps away before her husband can wrap his arms around her though, dead-set on her target: the filing cabinet where they keep all their important stuff. A marriage certificate is probably important, right? Important enough to be destroyed, that's for sure.

She can hear Ben laughing quietly to himself as he watches her go through all their papers, but he leaves her to it until she finally pulls out the certificate. "Yes! Found it!" Rey declares, turning to Ben to show off her prize.

The smile on his face immediately turns into a little frown, the kind that comes with a furrow between his brows that she just wants to smooth out. But that can wait until this awful, evil paper is dealt with.

Ben doesn't seem interested in waiting, though. He steps right up to her and asks, "Rey, why do you need our marriage certificate at one in the morning?"

"Because!" she tells him quite succinctly, getting a good grip on the offending piece of paper as she prepares to rip it. Apparently her grip isn't good enough though, because Ben easily snatches the certificate out of her hands. "Nooo!" Rey whines, pouting as he hides it away on top of their tallest bookshelf, the one she can never reach. "Beeeeeen, give it back!"

Ben turns back to her with his arms crossed over his chest, looking a little stern.

 _Oh_ , that's a good look on him. So good she almost doesn't catch what he's saying, but it sounds important and so Rey forces herself to listen.

"Sweetheart, I love you—"

Rey perks up, her pout quickly turning into a grin. "I love you too," she chirps back, feeling all warm and fuzzy when Ben shakes his head at her with that little smile of his.

"—but do you know how hard it is to get a copy of a marriage certificate?"

A copy?

Oh no.

Rey slumps to the ground, utterly defeated. "You can get a copy?" she asks, on the verge of tears.

Ben comes to sit next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she curls into his side. "It's a pain in the ass but yes, you can. Why are you trying to destroy our marriage certificate, anyway?"

"Because," she huffs as tears start streaming down her cheeks, "because one day you're going to wake up and realize you don't want me anymore like Rose and Hux did, but good luck trying to return me without the receipt!" Rey means to say it triumphantly, really rub in the brilliance of her plan, but it comes out as more of a blubbering mess instead.

 _She's_ a mess, and it only gets worse when Ben laughs at her, making her cry even harder because now he's definitely going to try to return her to the judge person and she didn't even get to destroy the receipt and anyway, it doesn't even matter because apparently you can get _copies._

"Oh, sweetheart," Ben sighs as she starts hiccuping and sobbing, pulling her into his lap. It's nice, the way he cradles her while she cries into his shirt, so nice that she never wants him to stop but he's going to when he gives her back—

“Rey, that's never going to happen. I'm never going to stop loving you."

Slowly, almost fearfully, she lifts her head from his chest to look up at him. He _looks_ like he means it, with those big, soft puppy eyes looking right at her.

Ben's never lied to her, has he?

Rey holds up one hand and sticks out a finger. She thinks it's the right one. "Pinky promise?"

His eyes crinkle with a smile, her favorite smile, and she watches as he wraps his pinky around her ring finger. "Pinky promise," he says, and seals it with a kiss to her forehead.

"Now let's get you sobered up, okay?" Ben asks, trying to move her out of his lap. Rey latches on to him like an octopus, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his middle, and hides her face in his chest again.

"Don't wanna," she grumbles, holding on tight. "Wanna stay with you. Please? Forever?"

Ben sighs, and a big, warm hand starts running up and down her back. It's so nice, so relaxing, that she can feel her eyelids growing heavy.

"Forever," Ben promises, and Rey happily falls asleep in her husband's arms.

* * *

Curiously enough, their marriage certificate seems to disappear after that night. Ben swears he has nothing to do with it, but grins as he teasingly reminds her that she can't return him without a receipt.

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be a little ficlet of five hundred words at most, but here we are once again. The entire thing came together in less than an hour and was so much fun to write, so I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it! As always, thank you for reading and please don't hesitate to leave a comment below or [come say hi on Twitter](https://twitter.com/hiraeth_writes).


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